Today’s classic song by a female artist of the day is “That’s the Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” by Carly Simon. This was Carly’s first single release and first big hit. It was also track one, side one, of her first solo album, the self-titled Carly Simon.
“That’s the Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” was written by Carly Simon (music) and her friend and frequent collaborator Jacob Brackman (words). Released as a single in April of 1971, this track went all the way to #10 on the Billboard Hot 100, #9 on the Cash Box Top 100, and #6 on Billboard’s Adult Contemporary chart. Carly’s performance was nominated for a Grammy for Best Pop Vocal Performance, Female (losing to Carole King’s groundbreaking Tapestry album)—and Carly won the Best New Artist award that year, at least partly on the strength of this song.
The song, “That’s the Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be,” is about the disappointment of relationships. Carly sings about her parents’ dysfunctional marriage, her friends’ unhappy relationships, and her boyfriend wanting to move in together despite everyone else’s experiences. It’s all there in the lyrics:
My friends from college, they’re all married now
They have their houses and their lawns
They have their silent noons
Tearful nights, angry dawns
Their children hate them for the things they’re not (things they’ll never be)
They hate themselves for what they are
And yet they drink, they laugh
Close the wound, hide the scar
But you say it’s time we moved in together
And raised a family of our own, you and me
Well, that’s the way I’ve always heard it should be
You want to marry me
Back in college, the little gigging band I was in played a lot of wedding receptions. For some reason, we had a lot of happy couples requesting that we play this song. They apparently thought it was a love song (the “You want to marry me” line, perhaps?), not realizing the anti-marriage sentiment of the lyrics. Our singer, Jill Wachholz (later known as actress Jill Wakewood), would sing this one with a deep and enduring ferocity, her sister having recently gone through a bad divorce. The crowd got a very emotional performance, even if they didn’t recognize the irony.
Which leads us to our very special daily bonus video of the day. It’s 26 year-old Carly Simon, singing “That’s the Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” live at the at Shaefer Music Festival in Central Park on July 2, 1971. This aired the next month as Good Vibrations from Central Park on ABC television here in the U.S., and Carly made a big impression on me with that slinky red dress, her long legs and bare feet, and her powerful performance. Carly, who had paralyzing stage fright, also had a mesmerizing stage presence. Who would have known?
