“Popsicle Toes” (Michael Franks)

Today’s classic song of the day is one most of you might not know, but it’s a good one. The song is “Popsicle Toes” by Michael Franks, off his album The Art of Tea. “Popsicle Toes” was released in August of 1976 and got all the way to #43 on the Billboard Hot 100, which was somewhat of an accomplishment for a jazzer like Mr. Franks.

Michael Franks was and is a jazz vocalist, and The Art of Tea features some heavy hitter jazz musicians backing him up. That includes Larry Bunker on vibes, Joe Sample on keyboards, Larry Carlton on guitar, Wilton Felder on bass, and John Guerin on drums.

“Popsicle Toes” is filled with clever innuendo. The way Mr. Franks uses geography to describe his lover’s body always kills me—and, when I was younger, inspired me to break out the geography books. I think I’ll just let his lyrics speak for themselves:

And when God gave out rhythm
He sure was good to you.
You can add, subtract, multiply and divide…
By two.

I know today’s your birthday,
And I did not buy no rose.
But I wrote this song instead and I call it,
“Popsicle Toes”

Popsicle toes.
Popsicle toes are always froze.
Popsicle toes.
You’re so brave to expose all those popsicle toes.

You must have been Miss Pennsylvania
With all this pulchritude.
How come you always load your Pentax
When I’m in the nude?

We oughta have a birthday party,
And you can wear you birthday clothes
We can hit the floor
And go explore those
Popsicle toes.

You got the nicest North America
This sailor ever saw.
I’d like to feel your warm Brazil
And touch your Panama

But Your Tierra del Fuegos
Are nearly always froze.
We gotta see saw
until we unthaw those
Popsicle toes.

Popsicle toes.
Popsicle toes are always froze.
Popsicle toes.
You’re so brave to expose all those popsicle toes

The song has a cool vibe, due in part to Mr. Bunker’s vibes, that perfectly complements the tongue-in-cheek lyrics. I really dug it when it came out the summer between my senior year in high school and my freshman year in college. It seemed like a dirty little secret then, and it still kind of does today.

The Art of Tea was Michael Franks’ second album. He went on to record a dozen or so more, his latest being 2018’s The Music in My Head. The La Jolla native continues to write and perform today, aged 78.

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